” Gotta get married one day. You gonna get married by 25. You’re a girl, that’s how it works. All girls get married” “learn how to cook. That’s how a good girl should be. You gotta be a good cook to be a good wife.” “you should learn how to be more disciplined. Girls don’t laugh that loud. Be more polite.” “don’t be like that.” “don’t do that.” “don’t do this.”
“girls! They’re so weak. Such delicate dumb creatures.”
And then there’s the “study hard!! You gotta be independent you know. Gotta be something big. Strong. ”
Gotta be married by 25.
It’s suffocating. Not that I’m against marriage. But it feels like a dead line. A dead line for my dreams.
It all starts from the Barbie movies. Then there’s Disney. The happily ever after! All our child hood, that’s a good portion of the 25 year deadline we’re fed with dreams. Then by 14 we start dreaming even bigger. Doctor. Engineer. Artist. That’s when the “study hard! ” advice starts. Then by 16 it turns into “learn how to cook!” (not that I hate cooking. I love to bake) ” learn how to sew!” but the “study hard” remains the same. Then by 18 we realize that we have about 8 -7 years before the deadline and we’re no where near our dreams. We’re still deciding. Still trying to figure out what’s right for us. The rational, realist teenager starts weighing the possibility of getting a good job. Dreams for about a second. Remembers the deadline and tries to forget about that dreamjob. “Gotta get into a good university, at least. That’s half of the dream. Let’s focus on working for that.” Dreams a little more. Then it hits her. “I’m a good for nothing lazy girl.” The dreams of the childhood. The castles. The kingdom. All hell breaks loose, cause they just gave her depression, anxiety and regret.
The regret of ever dreaming for anything. The resentment of ever wanting to fly high like a bird. Carefree and independent.
And that’s how the average girl spend the rest of the time till the deadline.
I just wanna know. Why believe everything they say? Why ruin the 8-7 year time you actually still have? Why cry over an uncertain future when whatever is going to happen will happen anyways? What difference does it make?
All of this coming from a person like me, depressed, hopeless, helpless and dumb, above it all, is a big thing. Because I hate myself. I know my flaws. I know me. And I know I’m not who I wish to be. But at least I don’t give up on the one little hope. That one light flickering at the end of the dark alley. The only achievable half of the dream.
Your life isn’t supposed to be perfect. You are not supposed to be perfect. And most importantly. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE EVERY SINGLE BULLSHIT PEOPLE SAY. My mum said once ” let the people speak. That’s what they do. You can’t hold their mouth. Listen to all their cock and bull crap but never believe it. “
You and I both know of the deadline. We know our flaws. We know our desired destination. It’s marriage not imprisonment!! We’re not being sent back to the stone age!! It’s the 21st century! WAKE UP!
If I’m depressed then how can I say this? Because I’m not sad about the deadline. I’m not worried about the future. I’m worried about the fact that I’m not good enough. It’s my own problems. I try to live in the moment and I can’t because I’m at fault. It’s me. Not the field that I want or the dream that I have, that’s flawed. You maybe wrong but your dreams arent don’t kill them too fast. You’re born a girl. That’s your destiny. Even a tiny ant has a purpose a destiny. So do you! Just believe in the fact that everyone has a special place and a special role to okay. If you can’t believe in yourself don’t. But don’t let the world and its cruel words get to your heart.
Every heart has a dream. And no one has a right to kill it. For the heart doesn’t belong to anyone. It came from the soul of the world and that’s where it will return. You’re purpose is to be friends with it and to follow it’s beat. It’ll lead you to your destiny only if it’s unpolluted, unaffected and free of the manipulation of the makeshift truth, molded by the ones who never got close to their destiny. So they wish for no one to reach it.